Excited
Happy
Blissful
Floaty
Demoralised
Jealous
Depressed
Angry
Inferior
Ugly
Lousy
Monday, August 3, 2009
Saturday, August 1, 2009
Wild Horses
Okay, this is the second time I'm typing this darn blog post.
Damn Blogger!
Blahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
Anyway, I was just saying:
Dance today was poop-shagging.
Gladys really pushed us today for the 4 hours or so.
We did 100 crunches, 50 male push-ups, turns, plies, dont-know-how-many turns and kicks.
It was crazy i tell ya.
We were so shagged before we even did any choreo.
But I guess we have to start building our stamina for Waves14.
So I invented a method today to make stretching more bearable.
Just scream "I'll take it alllllllll!!!!" with a manly voice.
Hahahahahahaha.
I know its stupid, but it worked for me.
I somehow felt stronger and could take more pain.
In fact, I wanted to take more pain.
Hahahahahahaha.
I told Sophie that I was beginning to enjoy the pain.
She looked at me weird and told me I was sadistic hahahahahaha.
This week's been extremely... ... confusing for me.
Ive been feeling depressed and happy all at the same time.
Depression.
For a few days, home became a source of stress, anger and frustration for me.
The feelings were partly directed at myself too.
But it's all over already.
I guess.
Happiness and a lil bit of excitement.
I braced myself and got to the bottom of the matter.
Things weren't what I thought they were to be.
I felt immense relief.
Much much much more relieved than I had expected myself to feel.
And I got to see you, finally, after 3 weeks.
I was so nervous and happy and stunned.
But behind these blissful feelings, I feel a lil sad.
The differene between us is huge.
You're way beyond my reach.
Too perfect, too capable.
Only a wonderful girl would look fit beside you.
Honestly, im just pathetic.
Im barely pretty and totally unglam.
Theres nothing about me that matches up to you.
Yet I still think.
Ugh.
Wild horses, I wanna be like you
Throwing caution to the wind
I'll run free too
Wish I could recklessly love
Like im longing to
Wanna run like the wild horses
Run like the wild horses
Damn Blogger!
Blahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
Anyway, I was just saying:
Dance today was poop-shagging.
Gladys really pushed us today for the 4 hours or so.
We did 100 crunches, 50 male push-ups, turns, plies, dont-know-how-many turns and kicks.
It was crazy i tell ya.
We were so shagged before we even did any choreo.
But I guess we have to start building our stamina for Waves14.
So I invented a method today to make stretching more bearable.
Just scream "I'll take it alllllllll!!!!" with a manly voice.
Hahahahahahaha.
I know its stupid, but it worked for me.
I somehow felt stronger and could take more pain.
In fact, I wanted to take more pain.
Hahahahahahaha.
I told Sophie that I was beginning to enjoy the pain.
She looked at me weird and told me I was sadistic hahahahahaha.
This week's been extremely... ... confusing for me.
Ive been feeling depressed and happy all at the same time.
Depression.
For a few days, home became a source of stress, anger and frustration for me.
The feelings were partly directed at myself too.
But it's all over already.
I guess.
Happiness and a lil bit of excitement.
I braced myself and got to the bottom of the matter.
Things weren't what I thought they were to be.
I felt immense relief.
Much much much more relieved than I had expected myself to feel.
And I got to see you, finally, after 3 weeks.
I was so nervous and happy and stunned.
But behind these blissful feelings, I feel a lil sad.
The differene between us is huge.
You're way beyond my reach.
Too perfect, too capable.
Only a wonderful girl would look fit beside you.
Honestly, im just pathetic.
Im barely pretty and totally unglam.
Theres nothing about me that matches up to you.
Yet I still think.
Ugh.
Wild horses, I wanna be like you
Throwing caution to the wind
I'll run free too
Wish I could recklessly love
Like im longing to
Wanna run like the wild horses
Run like the wild horses
Saturday, July 25, 2009
Hungry for ______.
Ugh, Blogger is so damns screwed now.
I cant even choose my own font ._.
Anyway, it's Sunday, so im feeling extremely moody now because school starts tomorrow.
Lectures, tutorials, homework, revision, long and boring MRT rides, heavy laptop, projects, Poly50,dance sessions etc.
Im always so drained at the end of each week, with barely enough time during the weekends to recuperate and re-energize.
But life's like that I guess.
There's no easy way out.
The semstral exams are coming in a month's time.
There's alot to be revised,clarified, memorised, practised...
Especially economics, ugh ugh ugh.
But thank God, Dr.Alex is a wonderful lecturer.
At least I'm not completely clueless.
And then there's MOB, with 9 chapters to memorise.
Hurray not.
I was dying to use the lappy halfway through economics tutorial just now.
Bad, bad, bad. Real bad.
Hahahahahaha.
It was boring the daylights outta me, so I decided to come on to do MOB tutorial instead.
But upon looking at it, Im doubly bored hahahahahaha.
Dance yesterday was awesome \m/.
Warm-up was way way way relaxing (secretly relieved lol, bad again).
We learnt a new choreo again.
Beautiful, but again, Im trying to grasp how to really perform it.
We watched the seniors perform their choreography for Waves 14.
Li Ern's was freaking awesome.
Sophie and I were like gawking at her friends and her.
Hahahahahahahaha.
We even looked possessed lol.
Im so proud of her! XD
(Why am i speaking like a proud mother? .__.)
Okay, I need to start on the tutorials waiting for me already ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh.
Despite all the complaints, I'm secretly relieved that there are so many things pre-occupying me.
I need to stop thinking about stupid things and acting emo.
Hahahahahahahaha.
I need to become laughy Melissa again.
I cant even choose my own font ._.
Anyway, it's Sunday, so im feeling extremely moody now because school starts tomorrow.
Lectures, tutorials, homework, revision, long and boring MRT rides, heavy laptop, projects, Poly50,dance sessions etc.
Im always so drained at the end of each week, with barely enough time during the weekends to recuperate and re-energize.
But life's like that I guess.
There's no easy way out.
The semstral exams are coming in a month's time.
There's alot to be revised,clarified, memorised, practised...
Especially economics, ugh ugh ugh.
But thank God, Dr.Alex is a wonderful lecturer.
At least I'm not completely clueless.
And then there's MOB, with 9 chapters to memorise.
Hurray not.
I was dying to use the lappy halfway through economics tutorial just now.
Bad, bad, bad. Real bad.
Hahahahahaha.
It was boring the daylights outta me, so I decided to come on to do MOB tutorial instead.
But upon looking at it, Im doubly bored hahahahahaha.
Dance yesterday was awesome \m/.
Warm-up was way way way relaxing (secretly relieved lol, bad again).
We learnt a new choreo again.
Beautiful, but again, Im trying to grasp how to really perform it.
We watched the seniors perform their choreography for Waves 14.
Li Ern's was freaking awesome.
Sophie and I were like gawking at her friends and her.
Hahahahahahahaha.
We even looked possessed lol.
Im so proud of her! XD
(Why am i speaking like a proud mother? .__.)
Okay, I need to start on the tutorials waiting for me already ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh.
Despite all the complaints, I'm secretly relieved that there are so many things pre-occupying me.
I need to stop thinking about stupid things and acting emo.
Hahahahahahahaha.
I need to become laughy Melissa again.
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Monday, July 20, 2009
Saturday, July 18, 2009
Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrh!
Im seriously aching all over.
From my neck(!!!) to my shoulders to my chest to my back to my leg joints.
All thanks to Ryan's killer stretching and core-strengthening exercises.
And not only am I physically tired out, I am also mentally exhasted.
The challenge of Ryan's lesson is not the physical pain, but rather learning how to overcome the pain and push yourself to the limits.
Yesterday, my brain and muscles were at war.
For the first time in my life.
It was so annoying, agonizing and depressing all at the same time.
Mind: Do it, melissa! Do it!
Muscles: Omg, it's fugging painful. I should just give up.
Mind: Dont! Dont give up!
Muscles: Ugh, ugh, ugh! I cant hold on any longer!
If you've experienced something like that before, you'll understand the torture I went through yesterday.
I succumbed several times to the exhaustion and pain.
And upon realizing what a failure I was, quickly returning to the agonzing posture.
Ever since meeting Ryan, I have begun to doubt my abilities.
Am I really meant for dancing?
What happened to those days with Ms.Joey where I could dance and move effortlessly?
Have I lost my passion for dancing?
Why can't I dance like before?
Is it because I've stopped for too long?
These thoughts kept flashing across my mind as the lesson went on.
Even though Ryan was cracking alot of jokes, I could only laugh half-heartedly at them.
There are many girls in my class that are extremely flexible and learn fast.
I keep feeling that I'm falling back, which hurts my esteem alot.
Honestly, dancing used to make me feel strong, superior.
Now, it makes me feel like an utter failure.
A loser.
Let's hope that this is just a passing phase.
And I'll discover my very own place in dancing soon.
It's Sunday.
It's a weekday.
But it's not a rest day.
It's a homework day.
So buhbye for now.
From my neck(!!!) to my shoulders to my chest to my back to my leg joints.
All thanks to Ryan's killer stretching and core-strengthening exercises.
And not only am I physically tired out, I am also mentally exhasted.
The challenge of Ryan's lesson is not the physical pain, but rather learning how to overcome the pain and push yourself to the limits.
Yesterday, my brain and muscles were at war.
For the first time in my life.
It was so annoying, agonizing and depressing all at the same time.
Mind: Do it, melissa! Do it!
Muscles: Omg, it's fugging painful. I should just give up.
Mind: Dont! Dont give up!
Muscles: Ugh, ugh, ugh! I cant hold on any longer!
If you've experienced something like that before, you'll understand the torture I went through yesterday.
I succumbed several times to the exhaustion and pain.
And upon realizing what a failure I was, quickly returning to the agonzing posture.
Ever since meeting Ryan, I have begun to doubt my abilities.
Am I really meant for dancing?
What happened to those days with Ms.Joey where I could dance and move effortlessly?
Have I lost my passion for dancing?
Why can't I dance like before?
Is it because I've stopped for too long?
These thoughts kept flashing across my mind as the lesson went on.
Even though Ryan was cracking alot of jokes, I could only laugh half-heartedly at them.
There are many girls in my class that are extremely flexible and learn fast.
I keep feeling that I'm falling back, which hurts my esteem alot.
Honestly, dancing used to make me feel strong, superior.
Now, it makes me feel like an utter failure.
A loser.
Let's hope that this is just a passing phase.
And I'll discover my very own place in dancing soon.
It's Sunday.
It's a weekday.
But it's not a rest day.
It's a homework day.
So buhbye for now.
Saturday, July 11, 2009
Awwwwww
I just read Sophie's birthday blog post dedicated to me.
I would have been touched to tears.
I mean, the tears were already brimming.
Until she said she wanted her kids to call me Aunty Smelmon.
Smelmon.__.
Ya luh, forgive you.
Youre such a kindergarten-errrrrrrrr.
I would have been touched to tears.
I mean, the tears were already brimming.
Until she said she wanted her kids to call me Aunty Smelmon.
Smelmon.__.
Ya luh, forgive you.
Youre such a kindergarten-errrrrrrrr.
Im such a disappointment to myself.
Yesterday was my first lesson with Ryan.
He's such a joy to learn from.
And boy, is he an amazing dancer.
Whenever he demonstrates the moves, ill just get captivated by him.
Damn.
The class started with core-strengthening exercises that were slightly easier than I had expected honestly.
Though nonetheless exhausting and torturous.
Sophie made it out to be so scary hahahaha.
We also learnt choreography from him, to Michael Jackson's 'Man in the Mirror'.
The choreo's awesome.
But...
I wonder if it's because i've yet to adapted to his style, or i simply sug.
I just couldnt carry off the dance.
So i felt deflated and frustrated most of the time.
Im supposed to look well-practiced, but the girl in the mirror looks like she's never danced before.
Ughhhhhhh.
After dance was JB with momma
Routine shopping and eating
I got myself this super chio waterbottle, but... ... i kinda ruined it a little just now.
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
Forget it hurrrrrrrr not!
The alarm is sounding already, i really really really need to study now.
I'll consider drinking Chicken Essence on Wednesdays, Thursdays and Fridays.
The days when I'm living zombie.
But the smell of it scares me.
He's such a joy to learn from.
And boy, is he an amazing dancer.
Whenever he demonstrates the moves, ill just get captivated by him.
Damn.
The class started with core-strengthening exercises that were slightly easier than I had expected honestly.
Though nonetheless exhausting and torturous.
Sophie made it out to be so scary hahahaha.
We also learnt choreography from him, to Michael Jackson's 'Man in the Mirror'.
The choreo's awesome.
But...
I wonder if it's because i've yet to adapted to his style, or i simply sug.
I just couldnt carry off the dance.
So i felt deflated and frustrated most of the time.
Im supposed to look well-practiced, but the girl in the mirror looks like she's never danced before.
Ughhhhhhh.
After dance was JB with momma
Routine shopping and eating
I got myself this super chio waterbottle, but... ... i kinda ruined it a little just now.
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
Forget it hurrrrrrrr not!
The alarm is sounding already, i really really really need to study now.
I'll consider drinking Chicken Essence on Wednesdays, Thursdays and Fridays.
The days when I'm living zombie.
But the smell of it scares me.
Monday, July 6, 2009
Going strong
An extremely exhausting day today.
The day started for me at 8 am, all the way to 6 pm.
With no time to rest in between cause' we had to complete our ITAB project, which is due this Thursday.
But all hail the four of us, we managed to finish up the practical section.
I am so addicted to 'We Got Married' now.
Specifically the Joongbo couple.
So is Chicken and Jiaqi.
They're the sweetest couple ever on screen!
And it's all real, no acting or whatsoever.
I fell in 'love' with Hwang Bo.
Shes one of the most fabulous woman I've ever come to know since.
Shes pretty, and not to mention her beautiful figure (duh, shes a model!).
But more importantly, she has the attributes of an extremely attractive woman.
Shes free-spirited and funny and spontaeneous and sentimental.
She cooks damn friggin' well and does alot of charity work on her own accord.
And she treats Hyun Joong the best!
Boy, do i want to be like her.
Hahahahahahaha.
Im sinking in already.
Hwang Bo FTW!
I wonder how long this one will last.
Seems pretty hopeless to me.
The day started for me at 8 am, all the way to 6 pm.
With no time to rest in between cause' we had to complete our ITAB project, which is due this Thursday.
But all hail the four of us, we managed to finish up the practical section.
I am so addicted to 'We Got Married' now.
Specifically the Joongbo couple.
So is Chicken and Jiaqi.
They're the sweetest couple ever on screen!
And it's all real, no acting or whatsoever.
I fell in 'love' with Hwang Bo.
Shes one of the most fabulous woman I've ever come to know since.
Shes pretty, and not to mention her beautiful figure (duh, shes a model!).
But more importantly, she has the attributes of an extremely attractive woman.
Shes free-spirited and funny and spontaeneous and sentimental.
She cooks damn friggin' well and does alot of charity work on her own accord.
And she treats Hyun Joong the best!
Boy, do i want to be like her.
Hahahahahahaha.
Im sinking in already.
Hwang Bo FTW!
I wonder how long this one will last.
Seems pretty hopeless to me.
Saturday, July 4, 2009
Happiness
What happens when you have the best friends in the world?
You'll be enjoying extreme bliss, just like me.
I cant thank my girls enough for everything they've done for me.
There's Sophie, the blur thang that keeps giving me horrible nicknames like 'Smelmon'.
Thank you for standing by me all these years.
Although you drive me crazy sometimes, but because of you, im never lonely.
For that, I love you tons.
Then there's Lai Yee.
Another girl that has stuck with me for 6 years.
I wonder all the time, why do I deserve such a wonderful friend like you.
You've been the best friend, companion, confidante and soulmate to me.
Thank you so much, for being by my side.
For that, I love you tons.
Stephenie, the beautiful girl that I've always been secretly envious of.
Other than being a fabulous friend that has brought me so many good memories, shes the best work and dance partner I can ever find.
I'm so glad that we've found the comfort in each other's company that we had almost lost forever for the last 2 years.
I cant be more grateful than having you by my side.
For that, I love you tons.
There's Meihua, the girl with special mood swings hahahahahaha.
Eccentric at times, but warm and motherly at times.
We've never been very close, but her presence always mattered to me.
Like on my birthday.
If you hadn't been present to surprise me, I might just find myself disappointed.
I love you tons, regardless.
There's Zikun, the most recent addition to my happiness hahahahaha.
She looks unfeeling and cruel and sadistic, but she's actually one of the warmest, kindest and sweetest person on the planet.
Hahahahaha.
Although she gives me the most painful pinches, she never fails to make my day, every single one in school.
Im so sorry for calling you 'Chicken Kun' all the time (hahahahaha) and suaning your moles (hahahaha x2), but I really cannot resist teasing you because your reactions are hell funny.
So please, feel free to pinch me (not so hard la dey) and we'll be quits.
I love you!
There's Wanli.
She smacks my butt real hard and laughs into my face all the time, but I can't help enjoy her presence.
She's one real friend that's willing to go through everything with you.
She gives the sweetest presents, and more importantly, she writes the most touching stuff.
Hahahahahaha.
I was damn touched by your birthday card to me okay.
I love you so much girl!
Jiaqi and Lijia (sharp house!)
I've never been on close terms with both of them, until this year.
They make me laugh til my sides hurt everytime we meet (especially lj, shes a crack up i tell ya).
And although our friendship has just begun to blossom, they've already become an undeniable part of my life.
I hope to share many more crazy-laughing-moments with you two in the future to come.
And I love you both!
Turning 17 has become one of the best memories I will ever have, because of you all.
I wish, with all my might, that we'll always stay together.
And our kids will call each other "Aunty!"
Hahahahahahahaha.
Okok, think too far.
XD XD XD XD XD XD
You'll be enjoying extreme bliss, just like me.
I cant thank my girls enough for everything they've done for me.
There's Sophie, the blur thang that keeps giving me horrible nicknames like 'Smelmon'.
Thank you for standing by me all these years.
Although you drive me crazy sometimes, but because of you, im never lonely.
For that, I love you tons.
Then there's Lai Yee.
Another girl that has stuck with me for 6 years.
I wonder all the time, why do I deserve such a wonderful friend like you.
You've been the best friend, companion, confidante and soulmate to me.
Thank you so much, for being by my side.
For that, I love you tons.
Stephenie, the beautiful girl that I've always been secretly envious of.
Other than being a fabulous friend that has brought me so many good memories, shes the best work and dance partner I can ever find.
I'm so glad that we've found the comfort in each other's company that we had almost lost forever for the last 2 years.
I cant be more grateful than having you by my side.
For that, I love you tons.
There's Meihua, the girl with special mood swings hahahahahaha.
Eccentric at times, but warm and motherly at times.
We've never been very close, but her presence always mattered to me.
Like on my birthday.
If you hadn't been present to surprise me, I might just find myself disappointed.
I love you tons, regardless.
There's Zikun, the most recent addition to my happiness hahahahaha.
She looks unfeeling and cruel and sadistic, but she's actually one of the warmest, kindest and sweetest person on the planet.
Hahahahaha.
Although she gives me the most painful pinches, she never fails to make my day, every single one in school.
Im so sorry for calling you 'Chicken Kun' all the time (hahahahaha) and suaning your moles (hahahaha x2), but I really cannot resist teasing you because your reactions are hell funny.
So please, feel free to pinch me (not so hard la dey) and we'll be quits.
I love you!
There's Wanli.
She smacks my butt real hard and laughs into my face all the time, but I can't help enjoy her presence.
She's one real friend that's willing to go through everything with you.
She gives the sweetest presents, and more importantly, she writes the most touching stuff.
Hahahahahaha.
I was damn touched by your birthday card to me okay.
I love you so much girl!
Jiaqi and Lijia (sharp house!)
I've never been on close terms with both of them, until this year.
They make me laugh til my sides hurt everytime we meet (especially lj, shes a crack up i tell ya).
And although our friendship has just begun to blossom, they've already become an undeniable part of my life.
I hope to share many more crazy-laughing-moments with you two in the future to come.
And I love you both!
Turning 17 has become one of the best memories I will ever have, because of you all.
I wish, with all my might, that we'll always stay together.
And our kids will call each other "Aunty!"
Hahahahahahahaha.
Okok, think too far.
XD XD XD XD XD XD
They are all i need
Just a short post for tonight, since im friggin busy with 'We Got Married".
Huang Buin ftw!!! :D:D:D
My seventeenth birthday is officially over!
Officially .__.
Hahahahahahahaha
Thank you to all who remembered this special day and celebrated it with me.
Sophie, Laiyee, Stephenie, Zikun, Meihua, Jiaqi and Wanli(!)
I can't thank you girls enough for the happiness and surprise you all brought to me today.
I was really really really caught off guard okay.
Hahahahahaha.
I love you all so much!
I love birthdays because i get to make wishes too also.
Hahahahaha.
Hope they'll all come true! :D
Huang Buin ftw!!! :D:D:D
My seventeenth birthday is officially over!
Officially .__.
Hahahahahahahaha
Thank you to all who remembered this special day and celebrated it with me.
Sophie, Laiyee, Stephenie, Zikun, Meihua, Jiaqi and Wanli(!)
I can't thank you girls enough for the happiness and surprise you all brought to me today.
I was really really really caught off guard okay.
Hahahahahaha.
I love you all so much!
I love birthdays because i get to make wishes too also.
Hahahahaha.
Hope they'll all come true! :D
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
A quick-y
PACC today was pretty do-able, maybe even a little easy.
Well, but that's the problem with PACC.
You never realise your mistakes.
And everyone seems to have varying answers so...
Again, we shall see.
Hahahahahahaha.
Pepper Lunch was for lunch with Chicken Kun hahaha
There goes my great plans for losing weight boohoo
I feel like killing myself for being such a coward.
Hahahahahahahahahahaha.
Chicken!
Well, but that's the problem with PACC.
You never realise your mistakes.
And everyone seems to have varying answers so...
Again, we shall see.
Hahahahahahaha.
Pepper Lunch was for lunch with Chicken Kun hahaha
There goes my great plans for losing weight boohoo
I feel like killing myself for being such a coward.
Hahahahahahahahahahaha.
Chicken!
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