Im seriously aching all over.
From my neck(!!!) to my shoulders to my chest to my back to my leg joints.
All thanks to Ryan's killer stretching and core-strengthening exercises.
And not only am I physically tired out, I am also mentally exhasted.
The challenge of Ryan's lesson is not the physical pain, but rather learning how to overcome the pain and push yourself to the limits.
Yesterday, my brain and muscles were at war.
For the first time in my life.
It was so annoying, agonizing and depressing all at the same time.
Mind: Do it, melissa! Do it!
Muscles: Omg, it's fugging painful. I should just give up.
Mind: Dont! Dont give up!
Muscles: Ugh, ugh, ugh! I cant hold on any longer!
If you've experienced something like that before, you'll understand the torture I went through yesterday.
I succumbed several times to the exhaustion and pain.
And upon realizing what a failure I was, quickly returning to the agonzing posture.
Ever since meeting Ryan, I have begun to doubt my abilities.
Am I really meant for dancing?
What happened to those days with Ms.Joey where I could dance and move effortlessly?
Have I lost my passion for dancing?
Why can't I dance like before?
Is it because I've stopped for too long?
These thoughts kept flashing across my mind as the lesson went on.
Even though Ryan was cracking alot of jokes, I could only laugh half-heartedly at them.
There are many girls in my class that are extremely flexible and learn fast.
I keep feeling that I'm falling back, which hurts my esteem alot.
Honestly, dancing used to make me feel strong, superior.
Now, it makes me feel like an utter failure.
A loser.
Let's hope that this is just a passing phase.
And I'll discover my very own place in dancing soon.
It's Sunday.
It's a weekday.
But it's not a rest day.
It's a homework day.
So buhbye for now.
